I don't know much, Day 5 here again and it is rough and am white knuckling today. I do know for years I drank socially , "predrank" a bit because of anxiety and thought it was manageable, then went down into a rabbit hole for years of becoming a secret at home large quantities of wine drinker, and to be honest, with clarity of last day or two, I see the social drinking I was doing wasn't manageable either. I would look forward to the drink more than being with friends. I lost, hobbies, joy in life, had injuries while drunk... which is where you are heading. A newcomers Class might help on newcomers forum when you decide to give it a go.