I drank a lot and couldn't stop, either. I was the life of the party- until I ruined it.
And if I was at the party, you could bet on it.
I've been thinking about all my blackouts, and it's scary. Unconscious lost time. I still don't know what I did at some parties, except making an ass of myself. People wouldn't talk to me afterwards, so I can only imagine.
Whiskey was one of my drinks, too. At 8am a couple of shooters to get the ball rolling.
I was a bad drunk and it had progressed to that point. I drank like that for ten years. Blacking out at home because the party invitations ceased.
I could never drink socially. At the end all I did was drink or recovering from a drunk.
I hope you can stop because alcoholism is a progressive, chronic, relapsing disease. I tried to quit many, many times.
Coming here helps me a lot. Reading your post reminded me what it's like out there. I hope I never go back, but I have to be ever vigilant.
I've got four years sober now. It took awhile, but now I can go out and not drink.
Best to you and remember, you never have to drink again.