I'm sorry to hear this too. I hope you pull out of the dive.
For all the false bonhomie and bravado in your post, I think you must be pretty gutted Strat...you know this is not going to work.
You've tried this before.
I shouldnt have to medicate in any form just to survive other people.
no you shouldn't - so you need to either change your situation, or change your reactions to the situation.
I'm not saying it's easy but those are solutions - drinking is just pushing the problem to one side.
D