That's disgusting Liz, especially considering all the challenges your DS already faces with health problems.
My heart is breaking for your DS.... he's obviously feeling pressured by XAH & that is awfully abusive of his dad to put him in this position. I can't tell you what to do but I know if it were me I'd be on the phone with my attorney finding out the best way to get this abuse reported legally & what I had to do to justify stopping visitation.
I realize this isn't an easy thing with the way your lives are set up now for your Ex to help out with DS's activities & schooling but the minute he brought up suicide, the game changed IMO.
((((((HUGS))))) Mama - it's AWESOME that he came to you & cried it out!!!!!! He's asking for help the only way he knows how.