Hi guys, glad to see you are all doing well. Busy day at work today as usual.
I haven't had a chance to look at the AVRT stuff yet. I don't have a free second all day these days.
I was thinking today that I am so grateful for my life. Even though I have made bad decisions and been a binge drinking alcoholic for all of my adult life, somehow I have managed to finish college, have a great job, buy my own house when I was 32 and raise a great daughter. Somehow, even after all of the jacked up things I have been through in my life, I came out ok.
Parents divorced when I was 17, Grandma alcoholic, mom alcoholic, Grandpa died, Grandma died, heroin addict ex-boyfriend (kid's dad), another boyfriend who intentionally OD'd on heroin and pills in my house and I found him dead in my basement...
I survived all of that. I realized today that with all of that going on, if I could still manage to become a successful adult who is able to provide for this family, then I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit for.
I have felt weak for so so long because the alcohol beat me down but I never lost sight of what was in front of me.
Then I realized
How is this goal any different?
I have never been good at failing at anything. In fact I don't fail at much besides sobriety. I am good at my job, I am a good mom, I am a good wife. Sobriety only makes me better at those things. I need to learn to use my strength for this purpose.
I'm rambling...sorry about that.