I really relte to all you're going through at the moment - including the teenage experiences, and especially that rage. I had spend a lot of years raging, and it all started to spiral out of control between stopping drinking and working through the steps (in particular step 4) and finding a way of starting each day with my AA prayers / reflections / meditations (whatever you prefer to call them) to make sure I'm in as good a place to deal with each day as it comes as I can be.
A lot of people will say 'It's okay to be angry'. but for the alcoholic (who tends to feel things more acutely than normies) resentment and anger really can be damaging - to our lives (many a dumb and damaging thing said or done in anger) and our sobriety. Hence H.A.L.T.
I found it really helpful to listen to those AA speaker tapes that focus on resentments and anger, and read some really helpful stuff about 'Justified Resentments' which made me realise that while I'd been nursing my justified resentment for years, the only person it damaged was me. The person I was angry with didn't even feel it. It was like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.
When AAers talk about forgiving and making amends, we don't do that s**t just to be nice. We do it to preserve our own sanity and serenity and keep ourselves sober.
xxx