I've been doing a lot of soul searching. Couch surfing. Looking into schools for physical therapy. Jobs near those schools. Right now I have no money, no job, no home to call my own. I moved up there and moved in with him, two years later he wanted me out, and looks like he wants her to move back, and move in. She told me she wouldn't after she saw how he treated me, but who knows. I've been writing, reading, went to one all anon meeting, but still I feel so empty. I wanted him to be my special one, wanted him to change, and he did....for the worse.
He can go with out drinking, but then falls back into it. His life seems fine. A girl who loves him, daily hustle for work, has all his buddies, and I'm gone, so he can live in peace.
I hope no contact helps me heal MUCH FASTER, because this has been going on since last fall. I'm so exhausted, and it's so bad for my health. Im no spring chicken anymore, and I'm competing with a 20 year old for a guy who doesn't even want me. She has nothing on me, im not threatened by her looks, body, job, life. I find her quite ghetto and surprised with his choice to be with her. So my obsession with her confuses me. I've never put this much effort into another woman. But then I've never had another female accept a guys behavior like my ex and stick around. I just want it to all go away. I want them to suffer, to be miserable, I want him to treat her as bad as he treated me.