Are you looking at the choices that your fiance is making and shaking your head in disbelief at what she has done? Chances are some people are looking at the things you say and they are probably shaking their head too. You seem to dismiss posts like Suki's because they don't correlate with your research. She is in recovery and posts like hers are, in my opinion, worth gold. Not only has she been where your girlfriend is, but she's found sobriety and has maintained it for several years. Who better to explain alcoholism than someone who has gone through it?
I apologize if I am misreading your posts, but there is something troubling in your posts, almost like an air of superiority. Again, I apologize if I'm reading them wrong, but based on the response of others, I don't think I'm the only one who sees this and hopefully that was not your intent.
You seem to think that the more money you spend on rehab, the better it is. I hope this rehab center will work for her and that she is able to work out her issues. I just don't want you to think that money guarantees success. There are people who have gotten sober though facilities like the Salvation Army for free. And no, I'm not just talking about homeless people you see on the street, but other well to do individuals who had already spent tens of thousands of dollars on “good” rehab centers. There are others from all walks of life (such as lawyers, bankers, doctors, etc) who lost it all (the fancy house, the nice cars, family) and found sobriety through AA, another free program.
You keep looking down at others who are struggling in life because, in your eyes, they are hardened criminals. The message that comes across is that your fiance is “better” than they are and she should be separated from such people. And since she is “not that bad”, the rules that apply to the rest of the them should not apply to her (such as serving jail time for driving a bus full of children while drunk). Imagine your fiance does get better, you go out to a social gathering and she is treated like an outcast because of her past. The whispers, the stares coming from people who feel they are better than she is. Maybe they wouldn't do it out in the open, but behind her back. How would you feel about that? Surely you would want the woman you love to be treated with respect. Well, those “criminals” that you seem to have so much disdain for are also loved by someone else and they would probably want their loves ones treated with respect too.
One trait that those in recovery all seem to share is HUMILITY. I'm not just talking about those battling addiction, but also their loved ones who are fighting it with them. So many of us, myself included, are guilty of judging others and looking down at them, when in reality we knew nothing of their situation. We just thought we knew it all. It scares us to know that now we may be on the receiving end of that judgment. Many of us have learned to be more compassionate towards others, including total strangers.
You have a lot of love and compassion towards your girlfriend, but something that stands out is your lack of compassion for the parents of the children whose lives she endangered. Your girlfriend doesn't seem to show any remorse for what she's done either. It's almost like they're a nuisance to you and not worthy of your consideration. As someone who has lost loved ones to drunk drivers, I hope you open your eyes to the very real danger that those children were in. Jail time for your girlfriend isn't about revenge. It's about holding her accountable for what she did and preventing a horrible tragedy from happening in the future.