It sounds pretty abusive right? I mean, if you read some of the posts in my other thread which I've linked it aint even subtle man. I don't feed into it at all in fact all my energy here is spent trying not to. It just stops short of violence on her side seemingly. I bottle it all up until I eventually drink and have a major mental blackout, its what I have always done. She has also landed the father on top of me at times over the years when I told her not to and not just here but at my own places of residence. The rest of them are in hiding, e.g. my brother who has kids- he will not let her or the father know where he is living and probably moved house again because they did know (as I have done a few times).
Wait til I tell ya. Sure I left at home at 17 also and was scraping about for a couple of years. Living with friends and students, working part time jobs and whatever else I could find and also trying hard to fit in and enjoy myself . Prior to that I ran away from home when I was about 13, me and another lad. There was supposed to be a few more of us but they chickened out (it wasn't my idea btw). We left notes as well, we didn't get very far but when I got back I was expecting that maybe things would change or someone would ask me what was going on with me at least. Neither of those happened, my mother in fact seemed a bit bemused or amsused even by the drama. So for the next few years, technically I was living there but I would be anywhere else where possible. Out on the street all day or around with whoever, off drinking somewhere and out until the small hours every night. I used to saunter into the school whenever I felt like it, the father was working away and the mother wasn't bothered unless the school were on her case. She would give me half a box of cigarettes (increasing to a box) going to school on days I had no money. I thought it was good at the time but looking back it was crazy, willfully giving me cigarettes every day from age 12? I didn't pressure her for that, certainly not at the start.
So I left at 17, I moved away and was scraping about for a couple of years as I said. No contact. Anyway, I ended up back there when I was 19 for whatever reason (no money I guess) for a few months and it was hell as they were both there all day every day then. So I got a job in a banking center in the next town over and was dependent on my father for lifts to and fro for bit (pure hell) until an older lad from school coaxed me to move in with him, a complete lunatic but I had my own bedroom and somewhere to practice my music although he used to let half the town into the house. No contact again, and this was supposed to be my way out. Saving money, paying into a pension etc, chasing the dream or the carrot should I say. I was going steady with a girl la la la, and after much deliberation and meditation in my mind I made a decision that unfortunately even though my mother rang me every few months looking for gossip that I could not have a relationship with either of them. It all started to go pearshaped again when my girlfriend insisted on meeting my parents, and after the kid was born she used to insist on us going there occasionally. Now her and the kid do still and its all out of my control seemingly. I don't know how I can put a stop to that but it's important.
Whats my point? My point Kilaua is I hear what you are saying. The problem is I'm not 17 now I'm in my 30's with 2 kids. My entire adolescence was spent exactly as you described there. Sleeping here there and everywhere, or just not sleeping at all and keeping the flame going with drink and drugs. It wasn't a party believe me. Any fun that I had was a distinct bonus, met loads of sound people but I just didn't want to be at home because to me there was no such thing (and still isn't). I spent my entire youth sleeping anywhere I could. Couches or in the corner of a room at a party (best cases), sheds, public toilets under a bridge or a freeway you name. Boats! They were good, bit of comfort in it although very cold. I've woke up in some very strange places let me tell you, and not just the copshop (although that happened a lot too). Worst case I would sneak back into the house in the small hours every night (if I wasn't in another town) and if the door was locked and I had to knock then that was a bummer. The point I am trying to make is that I can't, or really don't want to go back to doing the exact same thing at 33 that I was doing at 13. I just don't have the F'n energy anymore. I done it all then and it wasn't pleasant. F' doing the exact same all over now again, wtf. I dunno what to do man.