Yep thats her. Well thats the thing, I showed her some of the Narcissitic Abuse stuff as it pertains to my father. And while she agree'd with it all, then her higher ignorance came into play and she said stuff like 'well, thats in the past, no point in dwelling on it'. The point I was making was that it's not in the past, and this is what she herself should be looking out for. Then I believe she runs back to him anyway with all the gossip and I can imagine them both sitting there discussing how they can effectively control me and my kids in future circa their own interest's and about my problems that they caused as if they are the victims. F'n weirdo's man.
I don't even think they are aware they are doing it. I've heard it said before that she is just as abusive as my father but in an a more subtle way. From living here the past while I know this to be true. She is a controller and an authoritarian, it's all she knows. She pretends to be nice and I've always felt bad for her being a spinster. Sometimes she is generous but only in order to impose conditions and so on. I'm reluctant to call her a 'Narcisstic Abuser' as I know now thats what my parents are, but really she is not so different. Thats the crux of my question basically, is she the same as them but for she hides it well? It's really looking like that to me.