I don't really even know what to say right now. I'm taking the step. I'm doing this for real. I took my (hopefully) last drink last Thursday. It's been a work in progress, I cut out alcohol quite a bit these past few months, mostly substituting with weed, but I'm done with that now, too. I want to be sober. And I have been for 3 days now. I just forgot what it was like. I haven't been this sober in years.
Thing is, I have no freakin' clue what I'm even doing. I have determination right now, but all things considered, my life is okay right now. Nothing majorly stressful happening. I feel so fragile and I'm afraid this won't last. What am I supposed to do to make this stick? I've been here before, but I've always failed.
So I made an account here. No one in my real life knows anything. My family are the only ones who even know I have a problem, but I've pushed them so far away I can't expect any support from them. And I don't want it anyway. I have no friends. I live alone. But I figured I may as well use the wonderful internet to help me connect with people who know what a struggle this is.
I guess I just need someone to tell me that I can do this, despite the fact that I never even really learned how to healthily cope with life. I'm sitting here even now thinking about how nice it would be to just give in. I'm hoping it's just these first few days that suck this bad. Also, when does sleep get better? I feel lost in my own bed.
Anyway, thanks for reading the slight rambling. It's nice to meet you all. And I hope to hear a lot from you on this journey I've started.
