Originally Posted by
TheBob1 
Context, I believe, is that my issue is conceding my right to defend myself, my right to happiness, and my right to freedom from verbal assault in my own home, my castle, my refuge. The "power" to stop someone from sabotaging an otherwise relatively normal and pretty fine life - and people - and family.
As long as you hand over the power of peace in your home to other people, you risk not getting it. You don't have the power to stop someone from sabotaging your life if they are bound and determined to do so, and are such a part of your life that they can manage it.
I guess my point is that the things you are doing are not
changing her, they are just keeping you both stuck in a cycle of believing that If The Other Person Changes, Everything Will Be Fine. I see a guy -- understandably so -- still looking for a way to have his cake and eat it too -- but who is counting on someone else to both give him his cake and to let him eat it.