Originally Posted by
TheBob1 
Hmmm, this sounds like turning one's back on injustice, rather than fighting it. I back down and "concede power" to the offending party? This sounds illogical, so apparently I'm still not gettin' it.
Yes, I have disengaged and I have said "fine, maybe you are right..." to de-escalte things, but where is the boundary in that? Where is the line drawn? "If you attack me one more time, I swear I will turn and walk away!" - - - - Just doesn't have a motivating ring to it.
I think this is something you have to come to/learn in good time. Don't know if my personal story will help at all:
My alcoholic father used to go on racist/sexist rants and try to engage all of us in them. They were horribly (and sometimes personally) offensive to me. I'd do research to counter his claims. I engaged, often leaving the dinner table in tears as he denigrated me. This was exactly what he wanted.
When I got older, I learned to defuse/refuse to engage in his arguments. One of his friends watched me do this at a luncheon with other people and was very admiring. I just said, "thats very interesting, but we're not going to discuss this now," and repeated it calmly every time he tried to restart the argument. The way you might with a 4 year old who is having a tantrum. I was totally calm. It was amazing the difference when I didn't try to counter with any arguments. I was like teflon!
Someone also once advised me to think of him as a mentally ill homeless person on the street. Would you try to counter their reasoning if they yelled at you that the world was coming to an end and you were a sinner? Nope, you'd disengage and get out of there.
I assure you, with practice this works wonders.