Originally Posted by
TheBob1 
Hmmm, this sounds like turning one's back on injustice, rather than fighting it. I back down and "concede power" to the offending party? This sounds illogical, so apparently I'm still not gettin' it.
Yes, I have disengaged and I have said "fine, maybe you are right..." to de-escalte things, but where is the boundary in that? Where is the line drawn? "If you attack me one more time, I swear I will turn and walk away!" - - - - Just doesn't have a motivating ring to it.
Bob, you always have the option of leaving and taking your son. You have repeatedly said that that option does not financially/logically/emotionally work for you.
So then you're in a situation where you're faced with a person who, for example, wants to drink, or wants to argue. It's not about "justice", it's about your choices being limited---you can engage in the argument, which you will later regret because it only inflames the situation and has no effect on changing your wife's behavior, or you can walk away. If you choose to stay with her and she's looking to argue with you, those are your choices. Anything else is on her (stopping drinking) or on you (get to Al-Anon, learn coping strategies, patience, serenity, protect your son from the damage he's receiving in the home, etc.).