Sweetie, he has more problems than just being an A.
He's exposing himself in front of others, including children. He is raging out of control. You have already made him leave, but he continues to return and when he does, it sounds as if it's to cause trouble.
Please consider visiting
Domestic Violence/Restraining Order Info Go to the list on the left and find your state. Once you have an order the police will take more effort to protect you. You could share the information with your neighbors and with the workers so they too would feel free to call 911 when he starts.
It's all about YOU. Helping YOU be safe, safe in your own home, on your own farm, in your own life.
I got a restraining order this week. Is it easy? No. Is it necessary? Yes.
Your AH is responsible for his own behavior. Remember Newton's third law, for every action is an equal and opposite reaction. He's has done the action you are doing him a disservice if you allow him in to protect him from the reaction. It keeps you, your workers and your neighbors in potential danger.
I am sorry you've had a bad time at al-anon. How about trying the online meetings? It's a good way to safely stick your toe back in tht water. You also may want to try another group in your area.
Do not fear the truth. No one here will judge you. And no one will hold you accountable for the actions of another. In more way than one, the truth shall set you free.
Please take care of yourself and keep yourself safe. You deserve so much more.