Thank you Red and Feeling great. He has gone to counselling on three different occasions and once to marriage counselling but he says he doesn't find it helps mostly because he doesn't want it to and won't admit that he has any problem. He has said to me that he has a nagging feeling that just won't go away.
He doesn't drink everyday but goes on benders for a few days but these benders are getting more frequent and since he has gone they are happening every weekend and on weekdays he goes to bed at 7.30 p.m as his parents have told him that if he starts missing work again he is out of their house! Alcoholics is progressive so does this mean he is alcohol dependant? And what follows this?
Also he tells our daughter that he was working when he doesn't show up or ring. How and when do I explain to her what is going on? Is she a bit young yet? At the moment he takes her one night a week but I don't want him drinking around her and so far I think she is safe and in his parents and don't think he would put her in any danger but how will I know if things get worse?
I have a relative who is a RA over 10 years now and she says that where he is going can only be described as hell on earth and unless you have been there it's very hard to explain and that we cannot and should not be with him when he gets there!
He says that he will always love me but is not in love with me as he doesn't love himself but I think that is just a cop out as he couldn't have asked for a better life! Could he be saying these things because I tried to interfere with his drinking because when he was on his last bender before I asked him to leave he text to say "are we ok? Are you going to freak?" And then said "it's only an issue if you make it one"?
I don't think he will try to come back now as he said that " he broke us". He said he is now getting on with his life hence meeting the girl in the bar which I think he told me about it to hurt me more as he was not one bit nice about it the way he told me as he is gone now and I really didn't need to know! The drinking was one thing but I think he tried to destroy me altogether by letting me know that!
Sorry for all the questions just trying to understand. Thanks again.