I used to be an optimist aswell but in this last year I have had to ask him to leave on 4 or 5 different occasions so we have had plenty of breaks but they never changed anything. He would be fine for a few weeks and promise us he would change but would always revert to his old ways!
I think he might be suffering with depression also as a result of a family tragedy many years ago that he never sought help for. His whole personality changed. He is mostly in bad form and says that nothing is good and that there is nothing to look forward to. He says that when he drinks he feels better and that he doesn't even love himself. Does alcoholism and depression come hand in hand?
I don't even know who I am anymore. I used to be full of confidence and bubbly but I think I lost myself in all of the drama over the years with trying to make everything ok for him. My councillor asked me who I was before I met him but I was 16 years old young, free and single with no responsibilities so how do I go back there?
I feel mostly sad for my daughter having to grow up without a proper family as she loved us all being together. When I see other families together it breaks my heart even more because sometimes she will say "I wish my dad was here"
. She has also seen his behaviour and asked him if he loves us why does he always go drinking and she is just 4 years old but none if that has struck a cord with him!
I'm just lost at this stage.