It is very hard and I do plan on going to an Al-anon meeting but I hadn't been well the last few weeks I guess this has hit me hard and it's only now that I realize that I also need help. I just don't understand it and how he could throw his whole life away for this without any compassion for me or our little girl. He really doesn't care.
Right now he has gone on a holiday that was meant to be a family holiday but has gone with a load of lads to which he admitted would be a "**** up" as he said he was never on one of those holidays before. Is it wrong of me to wish that something bad will happen to him because I want him to feel even a small portion of how I feel now! And I hope it smacks him hard in the face some day just what he lost!