My heart breaks for you because of the situation you're in and please know that I am praying for you. My heart also breaks because the woman you just described sounds exactly like me when I drink.
I won't give you an opinion on what to do, but I will tell you that until I wanted sobriety for myself (while still early), nothing would have changed me. She has to want it. And if she doesn't, maybe re-evaluate and start putting the kids and yourself first. Prayers and hugs.