Thank you all for your fast responses!
Our children are from a previous marriage. We won custody of them after a very long custody battle with her ex husband. Long story short their father has not spoken, written, or had any communication with them for 6 + years! It would be a struggle for me to protect the kids if i chose to leave. This is my predicament.... When she is drunk they are her kids. I am the worst father in the world, etc, etc.
I'm very glad to hear that I'm not crazy!