Originally Posted by
happybeingme 
Liars lie
Cheaters cheat
Abusers abuse
And
None of these things have anything to do with alcoholism.
I really like what happybeing me says here...as a woman going through verbal and emotional abuse from my AH this hits home...
at least your husband has stopped drinking, going to AA and working the program. But, has he acknowledged his abusive behavior? The infidelity? It sounds like these are the real issues that you have with your RAH...I have been doing a lot of reading here on this site and books about abuse, co dependency, passive aggressive behavior...in my situation this is what I have issues with my AH...he does not acknowledge that he is abusive...he is very controlling...it sounds like your RAH may be as well? What I am learning is they do not change that about themselves..They want to put the blame on someone else so they don't have to look at themselves for what they have done...t is an exhausting roller coaster...one that I trying to decide whether or not to keep riding...I understand what you are going through...are you creating a plan B in case it doesn't work out? So sorry you are going through this too.