This morning I was thinking about how last night at dinner when my fiancée had one drink, I was feeling a little sad and jealous and wanting to join her. It passed.... But then this morning it nagged at me again.
'Maybe after TWO years I'll try to start drinkng now and then... But never more than one, no matter what'.
Then I realized I was saying 'heck with it' and ordering a large red-eye at the coffee shop instead of just a regular coffee.....
Exactly the kind of thing I used to do with alcohol.
Then I read your post and it reminded me how glad I am to be sober. Thank you for helping me stay sober by sharing your story. It's this process of reminding myself that I PREFER to be sober and have a better life in sobriety that gets me through the thoughts of maybe drinking again.
I hope you're soon able to embrace sobriety in the same way.