Hate myself
I'm laying in my bed hating myself after a long night of drinking and making stupid mistakes. I decided to go out and drink and ended up at a friend's house. We ended up hooking up and I feel awful because I'm engaged to the most amazing man and for some reason I keep trying to screw it up. I'm so lucky in many ways but I continue to put myself in ****** up situations. I hate myself. I'm soooo unbelievably upset and idisgusted with myself. I don't know why I would make such stupid decisions and I feel like the worst person on the planet. I literally hate myself. I have to stop drinking. I will lose everything I love if I keep doing what I'm doing. I'm still drunk from last night and i cant sleep because I'm so upset with myself. How did I get to this point. Why do I hate myself so much. I'm the worst and I'm so disgusted with myself. I am literally at my breaking point. I want to crawl out of my skin. I hate myself.