Hello and welcome to SR. You are never alone here, as long as you stay connected and post often, you will find a lot of support. I am 55 days sober today and I was a secret drinker. It was a horrible way to live, but I feel so much better mentally and physically now. I am proud of myself, and coming clean to my husband was a huge stepping stone, and he is my rock solid supporter. You can do it, just don't have that first drink, because you know you can't stop, and you will be stuck on the same sad song if you do. Do take care!