2muchpain, you seem like an ok guy to me.
I have a lot of problems with social relationships too -- so much I've left them alone most of my life. It's a strange way to live, but you know -- well I know -- that even isolation is better sober than drunk.
And I agree with D that with sobriety time, some of the vibe I send out that has turned people away has softened. The same can happen to you.
I hope you choose to go through the long and honestly rather scary process to find the John you don't yet know on the other side of sobriety. He's there, he might be able to make some really important friends. You're just not there -- YET.
You can be. All of us can.