Kind of a chicken and egg scenario. You feel bad, drink to feel better, feel worse, drink more.... etc. I know you posted this last night when you were drinking and the alcohol came through your writing very clearly. Hopefully you will feel a bit better today.
You forum name is pretty telling. You are and have been in a lot of pain. I am sorry that you feel so lonely and hurt. It seems as though you are looking for something externally to fill a void that is internal. I know that feeling myself. I have spent so many years looking for "something" in my life to fill the "hole in my soul" but to no avail. I have tried education to try and dissect my life. Didn't work. I have tried throwing myself into my work. Didn't work. Booze, nope. Family and friends could only do so much. I finally realized that like you said we are on our own. But that is not such a bad place to be. People, circumstances, life changes constantly. If we have a core center that is fortified, our true self, then we can manage these seemingly random changes of the universe.
I hope that you can find a way to sooth and solve your pain John. Booze will just open up the wound again. People really do care you know. Open yourself up a it and try to see it.