Originally Posted by
davenport 
Your wife didn't ruin your life. And she didn't ruin your sons' life either. You're all still alive. And everything your wife has done up to this point as far as ruin and destruction are concerned was allowed to happen and allowed to continue by your inaction, denial, and refusal to confront. I'm not judging you because I've been there and I've thrown the same shade at my alcoholic. But it's a boulder on your path of self-recovery and as much as I know you don't want to hear it or see it, I would feel bad for not pointing it out to you.
Well thank you, but my BS alarm is going off full-tilt. ALERT! ALERT!
Just to get another load off my chest here (and then announce that I had "the talk" with dear ol' wifey this morning about treatment)...
A) I didn't do this to my family and am
not responsible for the actions of others, B) My "inaction" is to blame for someone else's deceptive and sick behavior? Are you f'ing kidding me?!? Yeah, you and I may regret not kicking a budding alcoholic's ass sooner once we are in treatment or recovery, but please do not confuse regrets and "shoulda-coulda-wouldas" with with "being responsible", C) I forced no one's hand to drink or lie (pls. refer back to 'A'). D) Your logic is like saying a trusting, sweet, old lady is to blame if she is scammed out of her life savings by a scumbag con artist, or a person whose car gets stoen is to blame because they did not lock and set alarms before they went into a store (its the
con artist and thieve's faults respectively, in case the logic of this one was a challenge for you, E) There was a time I completely TRUSTED and fully loved my wife - you know, big reasons we got married - and I had no reason whatsoever to distrust her. You probably think my naivete or trust or leaving my guard down around those I love and trust in my own home and family equate to "being responsible" for the lies and deception too, right? The
full crux of the "problem" was never realized till only recently - - hindsight is 20/20 my friend and you have excellent rear-view perception here, and F) Well, f just stands for f...
Peace