Amy,
I have a son that overreacts often to the smallest things. Heres what I do, I ignore it. If he is disrespectful, I correct it in a low calm tone and move on regardless of what he does or says and proceed with my plans. Just keep being you. You did nothing wrong. You are not the one with the problem, your daughter is the one that has issue. There isn't anything you can do about that except make your plans and hope that she will want to take part too with a good attitude.
I refuse to let my difficult teenage son ruin a good time for everyone. If he wants to be an a** then he can be one all by himself.