I can sense that about you, I understand too I really do...I wish I had something more profound to say other then that but I really do feel ya
What kind of things or steps do you think you can take to feel more content with yourself perhaps...I'm at a point where I don't want any friends honestly...I have a few close ones but other peoples lives get complicated intertwined with my own...it's tough being social but being lonely all the time is no life either...
I'll as you UP what my therapist asks me all the time...if you could have a perfect day UP, what would it be?
And that's not a question you should answer this second...just maybe think what you can do for yourself to get out of this negative place that you are in mentally...I hear a lot of negative self talk towards yourself which is what I was doing to myself too...it's a thought pattern that needs to be changed!!! I know the world is a really dismal and crummy place but I care about you and you have helped me a lot...more then likely we will never meet in person and that's perfectly ok...I still think of you as a friend and an important part in my own sobriety as well as mental health in general....don't give up UP!