I know you love and care about your wife but how much of this is about what you will lose in a divorce? As you mention most of what you have was built on your labor. I'm not going to go totally feminist on you lol but being a SAHM and managing the household is a full time job. Now, she may have delved into her drink early on I don't know that its very clear for a long time she has only been managing other things. Regardless that it was she who pushed for it you did agree to it.
In most states its a 50/50 split. I'm sure you know that. My guess is she will receive alimony. She did work at one time so my guess is she will also have to go back to work and that the alimony would be for a set period of time for her to get back on her feet.
Is this why you stay? Its ok if it is. I don't see that as being any different than many people. Divorce is a financial drain and its certainly hard to hand over hard worked $$$ to the alcoholic.