Originally Posted by
hopeful4 
Oh Bob, my heart hurts for you. People, let's remember it took many of us years to get where we are now, to have actually taken action. Bob, what everyone is saying is correct, it seems harsh. It seems fast. It is, but so is alcoholism.
She does not have a "right" to destroy your life or your son's life. However, she may do it anyways. That is what everyone is saying. It's not fair, it's actually complete BS the crap that an addict will pull.
I literally made deals with my XAH for YEARS. No drinking at the house. No drinking in front of us. Only one a week. Only two a week. It went on for years, and accomplished nothing. However, I had to come to that realization in time, just as you do.
Further more, this is a long post. Totally fine. If it were too long or inappropriate, the mods would step in. You can come here to vent. You can say the same thing a million different ways, and we will listen. We get it because we did the same.
So many of us just want to save others from going through what we did. That's not always possible, and that's ok too.
We are here to listen, to support you, and to encourage you. No one can tell you to end your marriage, or what to do. Only offer suggestions. There will be some that will make you mad. Ignore it, because for every one of them, there will be many others who offer you support in the ways you need it.
Stay on those waiting lists, those things will help you immensely!
Hugs to you Bob. We are here for you. XXX
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ies/Thanks.gif
Hugs back and super-mega thanks for that - and the other posts on this today or last night (red/lex/et al...)
Frustration here mostly due to time constraints and I am trying to hold fast to the "wait" post from a few days back. If I could just get a time when a) wife is sober, b) son is not around or in earshot, and c) there is time enough to talk!!! Yeah, we need a date-day. I have many things in the works, but the biggest is yet to happen - TALK with my wife and get a baseline between the two of us on where we are (or where each of us thinks we are). I STILL don't know her position on her alcoholism.
She asked me the other day, "What are you typing so furiously about?". "You really want to know?". "Yes."
"I am having dialogue re. 'Alanon' " I told her. Silence. Same reaction to my sending some info on a very well-made website for discreet addiction treatment locally. Crickets. Saw something from her counselor she is filling out about her "life balance" sitting on the coffee table. I did not pick it up, but on the face, not a word about her "habit" - nothing.
Sorry, this was not supposed to be another whining post. back to the point.
Your points were well made, folks; Many many thanks again for more clarification.
PS - Hey RedAtlanta - congrats on managing to change a cat litter box TWICE A DAY (LOL!) When we had cats, were lucky to manage twice a week, thanks to "clumping" litter!!!