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Old 06-07-2015, 08:50 PM
  # 235 (permalink)  
TheBob1
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: virginia
Posts: 237
Originally Posted by jjj111 View Post
... to elaborate on this rules v. boundaries thing:.
A quick thanks to you and Lexie for the explanations/clarification. I was actually a bit muddy on the distinction.

I differ a bit on whether one can make rules for an adult in their own home. I have always been of the mindset that offending behavior must yield to the non-offending (like if someone decides to start smoking in a home where no one does, they need to take it outside or stop if the others don't like it and are negatively impacted).

Besides, I see the drinking, or rather the behavior that results from the drinking, to be offensive, often childish, and DAMAGING, so why not treat the offender like a teenager? If she has to sneak around to get a buzz... GOOD! Hell, she already does anyway. Would that be degrading? Yes... GOOD!! Why should she be allowed to maintain a sense of dignity while she tears down my life and the very home she "has the right" to drink in??? I refuse to buy into the notion she "can drink if she wants". Not if it is ruining the family unit, the marriage, me, and our son (just ask the recent poster who is pushing me to dump and run asap!).

There is more than one way to skin a cat (no pun intended Lexie).

Just thinking out loud - not saying I am going to do that, but am strongly considering it. I lived with a smoker for 12+ years. I smoked too for a few years but then quit completely. I did not take a stand against continued smoking - that would have been unfair and no one but me was annoyed by it, so we came to some reasonable agreements. But should it be the same with drinking? Naaaah. I nor any habit (like smoking) ever destroyed a home life as drinking can, and in my situation now, DOES. Worst I ever did was get drunk and say stupid things and felt like an idiot the next day while I nursed a hangover.

Quick shout out to the RA's here:

DOES ANYBODY MISS HANGOVERS!?! LOL! Really, am I right? I have never wanted to be put out of my misery more than when I had a really bad hangover.

But I digress. Just talkin' now...
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