your lucky to be here at a young age. lots of folks dont get that chance. I look at some of the younger folks in aa and htink even if they fall down and go back at it they at least have had the opportunity to be there and be in that recovery setting and realize its available to them whenever they feel they are ready. I did not have that. I know others who never got it.
I know one guy friend of mines brother. he recently passed away from a horrible battle with lung cancer leaving behind a child in foster care and an x wife in prison after he lived a life of coke dope and booze and good times. he basicly screwed off till it killed him.
I know another fellow in his early 60's taught me how to drive super nice guy but never figured it out. never straightened up ended up homeless in and out of jail I have not heard from him in years last I heard he was still living on the streets. and it saddens me so much if i still lived near him I'd hunt him down and reach out to him but my hands are tied.
The point is you cant be all you can be with this stuff in your life. Glad to have you here.