Originally Posted by
peanut44 
My problem is with pills but the "live to work thing"...... wow. That's me! It's like that's all there is. I too live in a beautiful place and i SHOULD be happy. I don't get it. I have every reason to be happy.
Every morning i lay in bed and think of how embarrassed i am because i let another day pass me by.
My husband, on the other hand is totally enjoying the vacation we are on. Yep. I'm on vacation and can't get the pills out of my head.
You are not alone, trust me.
Thank you. Thanks a lot for your telling me I'm not the only one. I'm just wasting all of my free time - but, at least with work, I can feel productive and useful.
I know there is no magic formula, but I'm really getting desperate at this stage. Not even to fix the damage that I have done, but just to have some sort of a normal life where I have friends, or could go out - for dinner or something. And to have a conversation! I was travelling back with a workmate today - and we have no real things to talk about anymore, but, I realised then that this was going to be the most interactive conversation I would have until Monday.
I'm desperately lonely here - which is completely my own fault, as I could have built a life already. I'm driving people away so that I can protect my own little alcoholic bubble.