What can I do next?
We lost my mum late last year (to an infection from gangrene) and since then it's like the brakes are off with my dads drinking. He is in his 70's, on dialysis and reasonably frail. He has been in and out of hospital with drunken falls a LOT since then. He has been in for weeks (which helps him detox) , then only out a few days before he falls again. I live on the other side of the world with a 12 hour time difference so can only call his morning or evening which I do (just to check he's still alive and hasn't had another fall) Sometimes he answers, sometimes not, sometimes we are able to have a reasonable if one sided conversation, sometimes he can't even speak. It seems like the only thing he can do for himself now is drive to the shop to get alcohol. He doesn't seem too want to do anything else. He does this after dialysis so I'm pretty sure he isn't driving drunk.
If it wasn't for dialysis sobering him up he would be dead by now. He doesn't eat well/much and doesn't clean himself. His house looks and smells terrible. I have managed to get him a medical alarm, Social worker, carer visits 3x a day, physiotherapist, occupational therapist, meals and a cleaner but now realise I may just have been helping his addiction.
He has stopped his carers coming round as it's obviously hindering his drinking and I don't think his cleaner is coming round any more either.
He has had a number of bathroom accidents and I don't think he worries about keeping himself clean afterwards, his last hospital visit they had to treat him for an infection in his dialysis line.
It amazes me that a frail, forgetful man in his 70's who can't walk very far manages to be resourceful enough to get all the alcohol he needs.
I don't think he is well enough for me to step back, let him hit rock bottom (which by most people's standards he has already done MANY times) and come to some realisation about his drinking and I won't be able to live with myself if I do take a break from it and he is found dead after days of lying at the bottom of the stairs. (I am not being dramatic here, this is actually quite likely)
I am no longer phoning twice a day to check on him but still dread every phone call as I don't know what I am in for or if he is going to answer, and wondering what it means if he doesn't.
Both my parents had 'enjoyed a drink' for years and I stupidly convinced my self they were so pickled they'd probably last forever.
Any ideas on what to do next, if there is a next step? I don't really want to involve anyone else as its just one more person for him to manipulate into getting him drink or convince he is fine.
On a positve note, after reading some of the posts here, I realise I am pretty fortunate to have thousands of miles separating me from this problem. So shouldn't really complain too much, when many of you have it so much worse being in the thick of it.