And on that note, something occurred to me while I was cleaning the fish bowl (I have a Betta) today that I wanted to say here cause it was a clear description of how I feel right now, and why I'm so vulnerable to making bad choices the past few days.
I feel like I've been sleep walking the past 27 days and I just woke up and don't remember how I got here! I literally can't remember what I did or what I thought to keep myself strong to get this far. It's like I have woken up and still think I'm the person I was last month, so going back to drinking doesn't seem dangerous. It's the only way I can describe my cavalier attitude on Sunday.
Does this make sense to anybody??? Is this normal in the early stages of recovery? Does anyone remember what I was saying in the beginning posts on the May class thread? Maybe I need to go back and read what I wrote. It's really that bad.
Thank you, everyone. I'll be okay but I'm feeling a bit clueless at the moment. I'm going to be sober today. Are y'all?