" Do I sound like a typical drunk yet? " .. We can not judge.. You are the best judge for that.. The very reason, you are posting here , means, you have acknowledged the problem.. The severity of problem, is very relative and depends to person to person and situation to situation.
There is one universal truth , though. Alcohol addiction, Alcohol dependence, Alcohol problem or Alcoholism, whatever we might call it... It is progressive. The various stages of damages, happen at various time for different people.. But it happens for sure.. Sooner or later.. Having a healthy liver after decades of drinking , has no guarantee that suddenly, liver function indicators would never de-rail..
Regarding your perceived in-sensitivity shown by your wife is , nothing but, her natural behavior of any human being to show hatred towards a substance, which might have, ruined her parents life and might have deprived her of many things, as a growing child. She does not hate her alcoholic parents, in reality. She hates alcohol.
Do you want , same thing to happen to your children ?
Be on SR. Keep Posting.. Seek support from AA, 12 step, Life ring, Rational Recovery, AVRT , anything which helps.
Alcohol will do its job. Eventually .. The sooner , it gets arrested, the better it will be.
All the best.