I sometimes am honest with undue brutality. I'm feeling bad because even though I told my son that I wanted to be at his wedding, I also told them that I only wanted it because he wants it, because honestly, emotionally I don't give a crap about anything ceremonial or any illusion of commitment to more than the moment. He knows that but I didn't have to say it. He wants to think I'm a regular human, why couldn't I let him?
The rest of recent stuff doesn't bother me as much as that.