Wow, Cindy. I feel for you. A few weekends ago, my girlfriend was showing a group of us the facebook pics of different guys she has dated. Like you, she is newly divorced. My first thought was, "man, they are all so old." LOL I think I thought this because we are college friends and I married my college sweetheart so I am stuck in time thinking we should be looking at frat boy pictures, but then I had to remind myself that I am a mother of frat boy. Ugh. Anyway, that experience stirred up a lot in me. It got me to thinking that I didn't even know what my "type" was anymore when it came to guys. I didn't even know what I was attracted to anymore. I think these thoughts all added to my middle age despair that I was feeling last weekend. I started looking around at middle age guys, thinking to myself, if I were single, which of these guys would attract me? Anyway, I think I am married to your version of awesome AA guy that you don't want to lose. My husband is kind, handsome, successful, funny, an awesome family man who adores all of us, dependable, good in bed, etc. etc. But like you, I married quite young and I dated my husband pretty exclusively from when I was still a teenager. So, if I am honest, there is a part of me that wishes I could do what my divorced girlfriends are doing and feel young and attractive and attracted and giddy and sexy and not so serious, to just enjoy the whole romance thing all over again. BUT, there is no way I would want to lose my husband to do this. And, if I am honest, there is probably a part of him which feels the same way that I do and that feels like a knife to my heart. So, I don't have any good advice for you, but I did want you to know that you are not alone. I understand completely how you feel.