I'm sorry to hear about your friend Lesly. That is horrible. I do understand..I have been through a similar situation losing someone that I loved and drinking over it just made it 50 times worse..What I thought would be a few drinks was 3 long years of drinking, 2 DUIs, jail, disconnect with my family...you name it. Stick around here and stay sober. It is truly the easier softer way. You will get through this and things will get better as long as you don't drink..Trust me.