I'm just 5 months clean but was trying to kick my addiction from heroin over a year. Was hard and had to change friends and who I spent time with. I learnt something from every failed attempt but every lapse led to another cycle of insanity that would peak with me using more than ever before trying to get clean and get through the sickness. Looking back though a few times I said I wanted to get clean but deep down i didn't want to stop using I just didn't want to be an addict, secretly imagined just using at the weekend and it being like the early days of using when I was ballooning out before the dark days of addiction kicked in. Or I thought I'd get clean but maybe if I was in a country with great Smack Id have a play. How naive I was. It was only when I accepted that I was truly an addict and would always be an addict using or not and that I couldn't use ever again, it wasn't an option. The party was over . And thank god having heroin control my life was over. Only when I truly accepted my addiction and that using was never an option again did I manage to get and stay clean. Being truly honest with yourself is hard, but especially as heroin and deception and lies go hand in hand- good luck but firstly you have to truly accept you aren't going to use again (im not saying that guarantees it but if you make caveats around drug use and are an addict then it deffo won't work ) all the best