Thank you for your reply! Its very refreshing hearing from someone who really gets it... It seems everyday is an up and down rollercoaster...I wake up feeling optimistic and wanting to be clean and better my life but by the time it's late afternoon, I'm having horrible thoughts and always give in...My boyfriend keeps asking me what is important? And I tell him getting clean but it's like in my head I'm thinking, "please let us get high one last time"...It's like i feel so incredibly depressed and fatigued until i have my fix then i'm happy and carefree for a couple hours...I wish I could be happy without it. I wish my family and friends could make me happy like they used to...
