I was thinking that we can't control our feelings , they just happen. We can control our actions and decide how we want to react to some feelings. I'm sorry you were feeling that way . I hope things can happen soon that can produce better feelings for you.
Drinking is so closely tied to negative feelings and sadness and a net negative action that distancing yourself from it would be not only a non-negative but a positive action to help produce better feelings , no ?
I hope you stay safe and wish you well