I thought my drinking was relatively harmless to others and it seemed a relatively comfortable pit to be in .
My nan died and i used it as an excuse for a 3 day binge , i wasn't there for my family and just selfishly used her death as an excuse to let my drinking run riot .
No remorse , no compassion for my dad or aunts and uncles , just me and drink .
Whatever the pain and the irritation i had to go through to be sober i decided i'd do it , even if i had to lock myself in a cell , become a monk , sit on my hands all day and night .
Whatever it took is what i was going to do .
Sobriety actually wasn't as bad as i thought , infact it's been rather good and i've grown a lot and think i'm a far better person than i was .
Life and sobriety is what we make of it , i threw away my red pen and decided to write a different story .
I laugh and smile every day, i savour each day , even when pain happens it's telling me that i'm living life fully , loving fully and growing .
My heart might bleed , the pain might seem overwhelming but i determined to see this through sober.
The acceptance of life, love and living means also accepting it's pain, death and dis-ease this was key for me, total acceptance set me free . The Buddhists say things manifest when the time is right i see no reason to disbelieve .
You can be free too
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