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Old 05-25-2015, 02:32 AM
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Members who has long term success

To the members who has long term success I have a question. When you look back on when you stop drinking for good. Was there anything you would have done different that you think would made it easier to stay sober or had quit sooner?

:thankyou
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Old 05-25-2015, 02:53 AM
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I stopped drinking a thousand times.

I only started living sober once.

I would have understood that difference sooner.
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Old 05-25-2015, 03:02 AM
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I don't feel I could have done it soon than I did. I am coming up for five years sober now.

I needed to gradually see through the denial and lies I told myself (and others, of course). To start valuing myself.
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Old 05-25-2015, 04:13 AM
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I wish I'd accepted the need to change my life years before i finally did, but I was scared.

Not all change is bad tho - I don't regret what I gave up for my awesome life now

D
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Old 05-25-2015, 04:16 AM
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I fought my husband hard, struggling
to keep him away from me, kicking,
screaming, clawing my way away from
him as he tried to haul me to the car
to take me to the hospital to get my
stomach pumped after taking a handful
of pain pills several or so hours earlier
to call it quits on life.

I had thrown up all that was in my
system and saw no need to go get
my stomach pumped at the hospital
so I fought him off.

There was no way in h*ll I was going.

It took a court order and law enforcement
to come pick me up and drive me to the
hospital to be evaluated for my mental
state of mind. Come to find out, I wasn't
crazy because they had me tested. However,
I was told I had an addiction to alcohol and
with an effective recovery treatment in a
rehab facility would be a good start to learning
how to remain sober a day at a time.

If I fought my way out of going to get my
stomach pumped then I surely would have
ran away quickly if I knew they were putting
me in rehab for my addiction without a court
order.

When the police came to pick me up, I
had to walk pass my husband and father
in law and with daggers in my eyes and
the devils voice, I told them both that I
hated them before I was escorted to the
backseat of a handless police car.

How humiliating. How angry I was. I was
so pizzed off that my family did this to me
that all I think of was to spit fire. I stared
forward as the 2 officers sat in the front
seat with a screen separating us. Was I a
criminal? Could I hurt anyone?

No I wasn't a criminal. But, yes, I could
and did try to hurt myself. No one in their
right mind would continplate leaving behind
a little family and 2 awesome little ones if
they weren't sick. And that I was but didn't
realize how bad off I was till I tried to end my
life.

Today as I reflect back on that dark time
in my life, I am truly grateful that my family
did that intervention on me, seeking help
and answers to help me get healthy again.

I don't think I would have stayed sober
for a long period of time like I have without
the help of my family placing me into the
hand of those to teach me about my addiction.
To stay in a controlled inviroment for 28 days
teaching me the AA program of recovery
consisting of steps and principle to guide me
thru life each day I didn't drink.

My will never worked before to stop
drinking until I turn my will and life
over into the Hands of those who could
help me. My HP and doctors.

24 yrs sober strong today.
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Old 05-25-2015, 04:27 AM
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Many years later it’s hard to figure, when I was ready it worked because I put the toys away and started to listen to how sobriety was accomplished back then. Basically I don’t pick up the first drink and go to many meetings, listen and get active. While doing this, work on changes needed doing like the above and more. A lot I didn’t like but for my benefit did anyway.
The above has led me to a long term recovery in which I’m comfortable in my own skin most of the time and continue 3-5 meetings a week for insurance because we’re all capable of a relapse and I like to see my old friends and perhaps help another alcoholic.

BE WELL
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Old 05-25-2015, 04:29 AM
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I am so proud of you, aasharon, Nonsensical, Dee, and IOAA2, both of your sobriety and for the help you give people here at SR.
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Old 05-25-2015, 04:41 AM
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Hi, ACT10Npack.


I am 2 years 7+months sober - don't know is it qualified as long-term though - but I will chime in.

Looking back I would worry less about "what if.., how I am going to handle this or that" - I would spare myself lots energy wasted for useless freaking out.

Time proved that everything was going at the right pace. When it's time to face an issue - I will find a way or power to work it out. Sometimes it's harder, but still doable.

So, my advice would be - one day at a time never fails.

Focus on the best you can do today. When tomorrow comes - there will be way too.

Best wishes to you.
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Old 05-25-2015, 04:45 AM
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Is two years and two and a half months long term?

If so the one thing I would have done differently is to stop romanticising the place of alcohol in my life. I always imagined that it was far far more important than it actually was and I see other newcomers to recovery doing that same romanticising.

Addiction is one thing. Addiction is hard to deal with, it is personally, mentally and physically confronting. Addiction is never over because our addictive natures are part of who we are but I firmly believe that we can turn that to our advantage.

But the romanticising of alcohol or whatever our DOC is is something we can stop doing in the beginning. Imagining that the fun/meaning will be taken out of life if we remove alcohol is patently silly. Lots of people experience summer, birthdays, Christmas, achievements, travel etc etc without carting along bottles to enhance the experience.

Don't romanticise it, face it as the enemy it is.
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Old 05-25-2015, 04:54 AM
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Good thread! I look forward to more responses.
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Old 05-25-2015, 04:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Nonsensical View Post
I stopped drinking a thousand times.

I only started living sober once.

I would have understood that difference sooner.
I think that is a brilliant way to put it, Nonsensical.
Not that I know from experience. I am in very, VERY early recovery. Again.
But your words struck a cord with me.
"Nothing changes if nothing changes".
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Old 05-25-2015, 04:55 AM
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I'm still early in this with only about 10 months sober. I wish I would have given into sobriety sooner than I did. 20+ years of heavy drinking is a lot of lost memories, years that I won't get back.

I was scared and until I found this site and read others' trials and triumphs, I didn't think it was even possible. I thought I was alone.

When you commit, go 110%, leave absolutely no opening for your AV to come in once the "newness" of sobriety has tapered off. Each time I relapsed I had let my guard down and found myself spending less and less time here at SR. I reverted to the option I had left myself in the beginning "I might have a drink someday". When that "someday" came, what a mistake it was. I got worse and worse until I was drinking around the clock; and justifying every drink as "normal".

So thankful for this site, spend as much time here as you can. This community has truly given me my life back.
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Old 05-25-2015, 04:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Marcher13 View Post

Don't romanticise it, face it as the enemy it is.
This has been an ongoing issue for me through the years.
I have often woken up and seen the enemy for what it is. Then somewhere during the day, I begin to seduce myself and the romanticising comes and POOF....Once again I have chosen booze over my loved ones, and over myself and, ultimately life.

Time to throw out those damn glasses.
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Old 05-25-2015, 05:27 AM
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I thought my drinking was relatively harmless to others and it seemed a relatively comfortable pit to be in .
My nan died and i used it as an excuse for a 3 day binge , i wasn't there for my family and just selfishly used her death as an excuse to let my drinking run riot .
No remorse , no compassion for my dad or aunts and uncles , just me and drink .

Whatever the pain and the irritation i had to go through to be sober i decided i'd do it , even if i had to lock myself in a cell , become a monk , sit on my hands all day and night .
Whatever it took is what i was going to do .

Sobriety actually wasn't as bad as i thought , infact it's been rather good and i've grown a lot and think i'm a far better person than i was .

Life and sobriety is what we make of it , i threw away my red pen and decided to write a different story .
I laugh and smile every day, i savour each day , even when pain happens it's telling me that i'm living life fully , loving fully and growing .

My heart might bleed , the pain might seem overwhelming but i determined to see this through sober.
The acceptance of life, love and living means also accepting it's pain, death and dis-ease this was key for me, total acceptance set me free . The Buddhists say things manifest when the time is right i see no reason to disbelieve .

You can be free too

m
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Old 05-25-2015, 02:09 PM
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Bump

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Old 05-25-2015, 02:30 PM
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I sometimes wish that when I had started, out of curiosity, taking those 'Are you an Alcoholic?' tests, that I had been much more honest with my answers and realized at that point that I most likely was, in fact, an alcoholic. I would have started on this fabulous journey much, much sooner.
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Old 05-25-2015, 05:35 PM
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I would have paid more attention to the suggestions of people who had long term sobriety but I didn't. I thought my drinking and I were unique. I wasn't. We've mostly all been through variations of the same situations.
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Old 05-25-2015, 05:46 PM
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I rushed headlong into trying to "fix" things and wanted to recover and get so much accomplished right away

I guess I have always been that way. Just my personality.

The lessons for me were about sitting in discomfort, acceptance of things just as they are, going inward and learning to like and care for myself in a way that was never taught to or modeled for me by parents, and letting go of an overwhelming amount of pain - anger, rage, sadness, and grief.
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Old 05-25-2015, 05:49 PM
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Yes, I was an episodic drinker for 40 years. Now sober for nearly 27. I should have connected up with a congenial AA group or some other group of recovering alcoholics early on instead of relying on one to one counseling. My AV was jerking me around for 40 years. I needed the support of other recovering alcoholics. If AA did not work, then I should have asked my doctor about group therapy. Some can do it alone. I could not.

W.
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Old 05-25-2015, 05:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Nonsensical View Post
I stopped drinking a thousand times.

I only started living sober once.

I would have understood that difference sooner.
I, too am in very, very early sobriety. But these days have been a gift that I will never trade in for another drink.
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