First off I want to say welcome. I'm glad you made it here. My name is LeAnne, an alcoholic. You don't have to speak at an AA meeting if you don't want to. You can just listen if you feel more comfortable. That's what I did my first few meetings. I often just listen and relate to what others are saying. Find the local listings of meetings in your area and just go. You'll be glad you did. Once you get your first meeting out of the way, it will become familiar and you will start to fill more comfortable. You'll be glad you did. AA saved my life. It really did. I knew I had a serious drinking problem and couldn't stop on my own. That is where AA made a difference in my life. Literally the difference between living and dying. I couldn't continue on at the rate I was going. There is a solution...check it out. You'll be glad you did. It takes time to get the hang of it, but it's well worth it.