Yes! I am posting because last time I didn't and I faltered. Coming here and working it through really helps me get perspective. My biggest fear is that I was actually allowing myself to have the conversation with my AV. Things like "maybe have one with her", blah blah blah. I was having that conversation in my head!!! I am angry at myself for letting it happen.
About them: I will do my thing. I am assertive with my husband and I will speak with him AGAIN. When it was going down and I said "I am an alcoholic" he rolled his eyes a bit. It is like he doesn't believe it eventhough (as I have said a 100 times) he knows most of my worst...
About my friend, we shall see how it plays out. I'm not really comfortable opening up to her about ALL my demons. She has asked me if I quit drinking because something bad happened to me. I responded "many bad things". That is so true. My life was just becoming punctuated by getting sloshed and I got sick of it. That was NOT who I wanted to be.