Is there any way you can meet your friend for breakfast/coffee or some other occasion where alcohol won't be served? And then have a heart to heart with her? If she's truly a good friend, she'll appreciate your gesture of honesty and will be more likely to support you moving forward. If she's not interested in such a meeting, then that should tell you something about your relationship and whether it's worth your time.
As for your husband, find a way to reinforce your views about sobriety with him. Maybe a picnic lunch? Some place you two can go and speak freely without the interruptions of home life? He needs (and deserves) to know exactly how important it is for you. And that his actions can be detrimental to your efforts.
Please don't think that you can moderate drinking for anyone else. I know that if I were to fall into that trap, I might never find my way out.