Nowsthetime

Hello all:

There's no way I'm putting my guard down again, that's why I'm posting here.

I am going to dinner with girlfriends. These are friends that I've known for a long time and that have been drinking buddies. I have been clear with them about the fact that I am not a drinker anymore but yesterday when we were setting everything up one of them asked me if I was going to drink. This is my friend that has been mourning losing me as a drinking buddy a lot. She has asked me many times if I am ever going to drink again. She's even told me that she misses me drinking. So yesterday when we were texting she directly asked me "so, are you going to drink?".

I defused the situation with humor saying that what I really wanted was a body shot off Antonio Sabato Jr. in his underwear modeling days ha ha ha... I didn't know how else to handle it. And then to put the icing on the cake my husband tells me, "why don't you just have one with her?"

That was when I lost it, I got furious. I told him again that I am an alcoholic and that my brain just does not work like that. After having a few a couple weeks ago and even though it was just a couple I still started my account over I got to be honest and there's no way I want to start counting again ...

I have had this conversation with her before. Now I feel like unless I drink she doesn't want to hang out. We enjoy each other's company even when I've been sober this whole year so I don't understand why she still wants me to drink when there's really no difference in my attitude or things that we do. I have had this conversation with her before. Now I feel like unless I drink she doesn't want to hang out.

Now I have a battle in my head. My AV is rampantly using what my hubby said and the fact that I only had a couple when I did drink about a month ago. But I know what it's going to happen if I open the door again. I have not had the experience but I have learned it from all my brothers and sisters here at SR. Why is she so adamant that I drink ? Let's say I do have just one drink, for what? Starting my count over and risking opening that door? No way! I also want to set the boundary. I DON'T DRINK!

I don't want to, I'm not going to, but I'm getting tired of hearing it. I am an adult and I should be able to decide and be supported, specially this great decision. I got drunk early at her wedding and had to leave... This was 7 years ago. Come on! Doesn't she see that's a problem?

Thoughts on handling it?