I know how you feel. The one Good thing about this message board is one can be honest. I lied for years to everyone around me that I was fine and that I had no problem but the water weakens the dam and my dam was about to burst. When I finally decided to get honest this site was my main avenue because I had to get honest with someone or I wasn't going to change. The struggle is ongoing but each time I have a new day one (regrettably) my sober time goes further than the time before. As for friends? Your right they don't get it. Most of those "friends" didnt want me to quit drinking because then they would lose there drinking buddy. I have a core group that understands but the other ones? I took them out With last weeks trash if you know what I mean. You gotta do this for you.